I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Let's paint friendship bongs
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
