Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
