If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
