did i walk over a car last night?
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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