You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Randomize
