butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
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