I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
