Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize
