god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
you never un-have a 4some
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
