I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
