Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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