If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
