I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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