didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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