WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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