You can't special order awesome
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
The struggles of a small town man whore
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
