So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
