i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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