People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
The power of my boobs compel you
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
