i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
