Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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