This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
