I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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