dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
