worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
Randomize
