This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
