Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
What a dumb baby whore.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
