How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
