Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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