Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
A+ Viking dick
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
