i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
