i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
