No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
