you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I think my moral compass just broke
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
