he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
