She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
