Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
