So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
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