At least make sure they are 18
Why
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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