OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
i think i scared a bird with my dick
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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