i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
