Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
