Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
