just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Randomize
