I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I supernannyed him into submission
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
