i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
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