do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
