he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
