I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
