on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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